Testimonies of my experiences with God
The first time I ever experienced hearing from
God was when I was 7 years old, it was shortly before christmas and I was
looking
at all the toys in what used to be called the sears
christmas wish book. i'm not sure if that is still around now, but being
excited I
went through the catalog and circled all the toys
I wanted, I figured out that I would need $1000 to buy all these toys.
My parents had given me a lottery ticket so I started
to pray to God that he would allow me to win $1000 on that ticket
so I could buy them all.
After many days of prayer- in my mind he asked me
what about $500? I told him that it wasn't enough that I needed $1000.
He never said anything after that, but I waited
excitedly for the day of the draw convinced that I was going to win.
The draw came I looked at the winning numbers and
discovered I had lost.
The next time I heard from God was many years later
while I was in jail for some petty crimes, It was the first day there,
and
while I was standing in my cell scared, he said
to me." I was with you before and I am with you now."
Many years later after that
I
was at a shopping mall and as I was leaving I heard the tail end of a song
on the mall speakers. I didn't
know what the song was but it stuck with me, when
I got home I found the song on the internet and listened to it. I burned
it on cd,
downloaded the video, and for a few weeks felt
compelled to listen to it over and over, it was than that I truly started
to seek him.
I read the bible, I prayed,
I hung around various christian-chat boards day and night, I sincerely
and honestly sought him
and still nothing happened.
However One Verse
From The Bible Stuck With Me..James 5:16 i'll post it below...
James 5:16
Therefore confess your
sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The
prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective
I kept seeking him, and while at a christian chatboard
really just watching people type ,a Girl out of the blue suddenly posted
that
verse to me..Things started to happen after that,
I was downstairs in my kitchen making cofee and God asked me three questions...
Here is what I wrote about it at the time it happened...
may 10 2007
last night I was talking to him, strongly asking
him to be real. to show himself to me,and I think he asked me questions,
so fast in my mind, not like reading a question till you hear the end of
it but more like in split second intervals I knew what they were without
them having to be finished..I told him I would be his always for ever
that I wanted him, I cant remember them all
now.. but I feel like he is here with me as I write this, I can feel him
smile.its like hes reading over my shoulder at what im writing.
After that I was reading proverbs chapter 3 and
God revealed himself to me..The bible Lit up for me for the first time.
It was like God was
actually talking to me, it was completly amazing..Now
after these experiences I noticed I was starting to develop this feeling
of pride and
self importance, I prayed to him to help me rid
myself of these feelings and to make myself worthier of him, a couple days
later
I went out for a drive and again was thinking about
it, and I started to cry, I went home and really started to cry and
I told God I wasn't worthy enough to be saved
to be worthy enough to come to him I was so full of sorrow and I was crying
to him praying,
While I was, I Felt like my arms where being pulled
back it was like I was out of my body and I was being crucified,my arms
where a blue
spirit and they were pulled back, my feet were
pushed together and I was scared. The thoughts and feeling of crucification
were so strong,
God let me percieve him, In my mind it was like
I was seeing space without stars and in the bottom corner was a circular
white cloud,
it wasn't completely circular but in it was what
I think of as a smile that you can't see.. I have troubles trying to explain
this,
that smile. it was Joy, as in being aware
of Joy eminating from it.
Another moment God manifested to me was shortly
after I listened to a preaching online about the love of God, I was thinking
about the
commandment Jesus gave us to love God with all
your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and I was thinking
how can one do that,
I didn't just want to say the words but I wanted
to truly love him like that, so I started thinking about how I grew in
love with past girlfriends
and concluded that I did by spending time with
them, by telling them my thoughts, sharing things with them, being with
them, and over time
love was developed.It didn't come instantly like
as in a microwave dinner, but by growth, so I thought I would start to
apply this to God,
I felt the desire to pray but also a feeling of
resistance,a feeling to not bother but rather to avoid it. (that feeling
to avoid praying I've come know
is from satan, if you get that feeling as well
fight it off and pray! ) you never know when God might reveal himself to
you,, pray pray and pray!
anyways I had to force myself to and I started praying
and talking to him about what I was thinking and he let me feel his love..
It was to powerful
to experience, and I can't express the words to
describe it properly. His love is unimaginable,It was like recieving an
electric shock but much more
intense , the more I told him I loved him the more
intense it became, it was so strong I pulled back, that moment made me
realize that Gods love
is infinite with no limits to its depth or intensity..It
was absolutlely indescribable.
Another time I was in a hotel room and talking to
a christian friend of mine online through yahoo messenger, and we were
joking around and
talking about God, I told her I was going to go
for a cofee and before I left the room prayed to God and asked him to show
me anything I was
doing that was wrong, I got up and left and started
to feel an overwhelming sense of how powerful he was, I remember stopping
in a parking
lot with the realization that God could squish
me like a bug if he chose too,
I suppose it was more of an awareness of just how
almighty God was, I started to become scared and went back to my hotel,
and started
to pray.. When I did I felt him come, like an awareness
of his presence. I knew I was before him and I could feel just how powerful
he was,
I had the thought that he was just showing me only
a tiny fraction of his power, I percieved what felt like fingers touching
my back pushing me
forward so I was full face on the ground before
him. And he let me know clearly that I had been using his name in vain
while I was talking with my
friend,I was terrified and begged him to forgive
me, I told him that I didnt understand and said I was sorry.
For Two days after I was still terrified and was
very sad as I thought I would always be in a state of terror of him now,
but it left and I was ok.
Manifestations Of Jesus
I've had many manifestations of our Lord ,once on
the sabbath day I felt him come and afterwards had the unmistakable impression
of a jewish
man being in the room, it was like I could feel
the essence of his being. Another time I felt his spirit in me so strong
that it was like he was seperate
but still part of me, another time was shortly
after a big worry session on money and wealth I felt his presence so clear
like he was in the room with me,
he told me that this (meaning wordly possessions)
was all rubbish..
Shortly after the night I felt crucified in the
spirit I had talked to him of my trouble understanding the trinity of God,
the Father, Son and Holy spirt.
My troubles were about the commandment to worship
only God and have no other Gods before him, Jesus I knew was my savior
but I couldn't at
that time grasp the meaning of God as being three
parts and yet one, so worried about whether I was to pray to Jesus or not,,one
night after that
I was talking to friend, and he suddenly let me
feel his power, it was the same as when I was before him in the hotel room
and when he let me feel
his love, he wrote the words JESUS in my mind.
In big letters.
I have felt his finger brush the corner of my head,
like a mother does when she touches her baby, I've had moments where I
knew he was there,
leaning down over me talking to me like one does
a 4 year old, recently I've noticed what I think is an angel?(I have no
way to know this)
say amen in my mind before I can finish my prayers,
or when I talk of Jesus and tell how you must accept his sacrfice to be
saved, AMEN comes.
While I was reading the story of stephen, the first
martyr, I felt the holy ghost fill me with great sorrow to the point of
coming to tears.
One night while driving home sad about a girfriend
I had to give up, he told me, Don't worry my son I have someone for you,
I feel Gods presence
always,at times like im on fire with his spirit
other times more distant but always I feel him with me. Always speaking
with me, he tells me to trust him,
to have faith, when I ask for things, at times
I hear him ask me a question, "do you believe?". he reveals things
to me, perceptions and gives me
the ability to grow in him.
When I have asked for wealth I've been told that
I will live by faith, and to be content with what I have and he will bless
me. Just recently he's made
me aware that doubting God is a great sin, freeing
me much of my fear and worry. Never think you can do anything alone, it
is only by him
empowering you that you can grow in faith.
There have been other times and experiences I haven't
written here. some of them scary (evil is real), but I want you to know
if you are reading
this, that I'm not making all this up to create
a good story for you, God is real, and he is exactly as the bible says,
He is a God of infinite power
but he is also a God of Infinite love.
The things that stop you from knowing him are your
disbelief,your fears. and your unwillingness to give up sin and turn to
him.
But IF you will sincerely seek him you will find
him.
