Testimonies of my experiences with God
The first time I ever experienced hearing from
God was when I was 7 years old, it was shortly before christmas and I was
looking at all the toys in what used to be called the sears christmas wish
book. i'm not sure if that is still around now, but being excited I went
through the catalog and circled all the toys I wanted,
I figured out that I would need $1000 to buy all
these toys.
Now keep in mind this is going back to 1972 and
one thousand dollars was a lot than In todays
value it would be more like $5000 a lot of toys
to be sure :) Just shows you that perhaps I was a bit over zeolous with
circling in that cataloge!
Anyways my parents had given me a lottery ticket
so I started to pray to God that he would allow me to win $1000 on that
ticket so I could buy them all.
After many days of prayer- in my mind he asked me
what about $500? It was just the thought came into my mind, I thought about
it and told him
that it wasn't enough that I needed $1000.
He never said anything after that, but I waited
excitedly for the day of the draw convinced that I was going to win. The
draw came I looked
at the winning numbers and discovered I had lost.
The next time I heard from God was many years later
while I was in jail for some petty crimes, It was the first day there,
and while I was standing in my cell scared, he said to me." I was with
you before and I am with you now."
Many years later after that
I
was at a shopping mall and as I was leaving I heard the tail end of a song
on the mall speakers. I didn't know what the song was but it stuck with
me, when I got home I found the song on the internet and listened to it.
I burned it on cd, downloaded the video, and for a few weeks felt compelled
to listen to it over and over, it was than that I truly started to seek
him. I read the bible, I prayed, I hung around various
christian-chat boards day and night, I sincerely and honestly sought him
and still nothing happened.
However One Verse
From The Bible Stuck With Me..James 5:16 i'll post it below...
______________________
James 5:16
Confess your faults one to
another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual
fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
________
I kept seeking him, it was very frustrating and
while at a christian chatboard really just siting there watching people
type ,a Girl out of the blue
suddenly posted that verse to me..Things started
to happen after that, I was downstairs in my kitchen making cofee and God
asked me three questions...
Here is what I wrote about it at the time it happened...
may 10 2007
last night I was talking to him, strongly asking
him to be real. to show himself to me,and I think he asked me questions,
so fast in my mind, not like reading a question till you hear the end of
it but more like in split second intervals I knew what they were without
them having to be finished..I told him I would be his always for ever that
I wanted him, I cant remember them all now.. but I feel like he is here
with me as I write this, I can feel him smile.its like hes reading over
my shoulder at what im writing.
After that I was reading proverbs chapter 3 and
God revealed himself to me..The bible Lit up for me for the first time.
It was like God was actually talking to me, it was completly amazing..Now
after these experiences I noticed I was starting to develop this feeling
of pride and self importance, I prayed to him to help me rid myself of
these feelings and to make myself worthier of him, a couple days later
I went out for a drive and again was thinking about it, and I started to
cry, I went home and really started to cry and I told God I wasn't worthy
enough to be saved to be worthy enough to come to him I was so full
of sorrow and I was crying to him praying,
While I was, I Felt like my arms where being pulled
back it was like I was out of my body and I was being crucified,my arms
where a blue spirit and they were pulled back, my feet were pushed together
and I was scared. The thoughts and feeling of crucification were so strong,
God let me percieve him, In my mind it was like I was seeing space without
stars and in the bottom corner was a circular white cloud,it wasn't completely
circular but in it was a smile that you can't see.. I have troubles trying
to explain this, that smile. it was Joy, as in being aware of Joy
within it...
And that my friends is they key...it was when I
was truly repentant and crying out to him in tears that the miracle I was
seeking was seeking happened
and I KNEW he was real. God resists the proud,
to truly find God you must first begin to seek him and be persistant not
giving up, it is through that
seeking him he prepares your heart and brings
you into a state of true repentance before him.
It`s God that brings you to himself not the other
way around,
Another moment God manifested to me was shortly
after I listened to a preaching online about the love of God, I was thinking
about the commandment Jesus gave us to love God with all your heart and
with all your soul and with all your mind, and I was thinking how can one
do that, I didn't just want to say the words but I wanted to truly love
him like that, so I started thinking about how I grew in love with past
girlfriends and concluded that I did by spending time with them, by telling
them my thoughts, sharing things with them, being with them, and over time
love was developed.It didn't come instantly like as in a microwave dinner,
but by growth, so I thought I would start to apply this to God,
I felt the desire to pray but also a feeling of
resistance,a feeling to not bother but rather to avoid it. (that feeling
to avoid praying I've come know is from satan, if you get that feeling
as well fight it off and pray! ) you never know when God might reveal himself
to you,, pray pray and pray!
anyways I had to force myself to and I started praying
and talking to him about what I was thinking and he let me feel his love..
It was to powerful to experience, and I can't express the words to describe
it properly. His love is unimaginable,It was like recieving an electric
shock but much more intense , the more I told him I loved him the more
intense it became, it was so strong I pulled back, that moment made me
realize that Gods love is infinite with no limits to its depth or intensity..It
was absolutlely indescribable.
Another time I was in a hotel room and talking to
a christian friend of mine online through yahoo messenger, and we were
joking around and talking about God, I told her I was going to go for a
cofee and before I left the room prayed to God and asked him to show me
anything I was doing that was wrong, I got up and left and started to feel
an overwhelming sense of how powerful he was, I remember stopping in a
parking lot with the realization that God could squish me like a bug if
he chose too,
I suppose it was more of an awareness of just how
almighty God was, I started to become scared and went back to my hotel,
and started to pray.. When I did I felt him come, like an awareness of
his presence. I knew I was before him and I could feel just how powerful
he was, I had the thought that he was just showing me only a tiny fraction
of his power, I percieved what felt like fingers touching my back pushing
me forward so I was full face on the ground before him. And he let me know
clearly that I had been using his name in vain while I was talking with
my friend,I was terrified and begged him to forgive me, I told him that
I didnt understand and said I was sorry.
For Two days after I was still terrified and was
very sad as I thought I would always be in a state of terror of him now,
but it left and I was ok.
Manifestations Of Jesus
I've had many manifestations of our Lord ,once on
the sabbath day I felt him come and afterwards had the unmistakable impression
of a jewish man being in the room, it was like I could feel the essence
of his being.Another time I felt his spirit in me so strong that it was
like he was seperate but still part of me, another time was shortly after
a big worry session on money and wealth I felt his presence so clear like
he was in the room with me, he told me that this (meaning wordly possessions)
was all rubbish..
Shortly after the night I felt crucified in the
spirit I had talked to him of my trouble understanding the trinity of God,
the Father, Son and Holy spirt. My troubles were about the commandment
to worship only God and have no other Gods before him, Jesus I knew was
my savior but I couldn't at that time grasp the meaning of God as being
three parts and yet one, so worried about whether I was to pray to Jesus
or not,,one night after that I was talking to friend, and he suddenly let
me feel his power, it was the same as when I was before him in the hotel
room and when he let me feel his love, he wrote the words JESUS in my mind.
In big letters.
I have felt his finger brush the corner of my head,
like a mother does when she touches her baby, I've had moments where I
knew he was there, leaning down over me talking to me like one does a 4
year old, recently I've noticed what I think is an angel?(I have no way
to know this) say amen in my mind before I can finish my prayers,
or when I talk of Jesus and tell how you must accept his sacrfice to be
saved, AMEN comes. While I was reading the story of stephen, the first
martyr, I felt the holy ghost fill me with great sorrow to the point of
coming to tears.
One night while driving home sad about a girfriend
I had to give up, he told me, Don't worry my son I have someone for you,
I feel Gods presence always,at times like im on fire with his spirit other
times more distant but always I feel him with me. Always speaking with
me, he tells me to trust him, to have faith, when I ask for things, at
times I hear him ask me a question, "do you believe?". he reveals
things to me, perceptions and gives me the ability to grow in him.
When I have asked for wealth I've been told that
I will live by faith, and to be content with what I have and he will bless
me. Just recently he's made me aware that doubting God is a great sin,
freeing me much of my fear and worry. Never think you can do anything alone,
it is only by him empowering you that you can grow in faith.
There have been other times and experiences I haven't
written here. some of them scary (evil is real), but I want you to know
if you are reading this, that I'm not making all this up to create a good
story for you, God is real, and he is exactly as the bible says, He is
a God of infinite power but he is also a God of Infinite love.
The things that stop you from knowing him are your
disbelief,your fears. and your unwillingness to give up sin and turn to
him. But IF you will sincerely seek him you will find him.
